28 Jun – Vettel Says Safety Car Period Was Not Just To Clear Debris But Also “To Break Our Necks”. Seriously?


VETTEL BEING CONSOLED BY RED BULL TEAM PRINCIPAL CHRISTIAN HORNER. This must be after the RB7 quit on them while leading the race, and right before they cooked up this cockamamie idea of a safety car conspiracy.

Just when I think that I have heard it all in Formula One, from all of its interesting players, (I am being nice for once, but let’s see how long that lasts), out comes a headline that really makes me take pause. This time, it is courtesy of Sebastian Vettel and although I can forgive him for throwing his driving gloves into the fence in disgust right after his car retired while comfortably leading, I just can’t let him off the hook for still being a sore loser hours later.

According to Mr. Vettel, due to the fact that he was leading by such a large margin, the organizers decided to call a safety car onto the track not just so that debris could be cleared but really “to break our necks.” He goes on to state that after the safety car was driven back into the pits and the race allowed to resume, that his car, well, as he puts it so eloquently, “it just went to sh**.” And to emphasize that it couldn’t have been the RB7’s fault, he continues, “I think it was clear to see that (until then) we were pulling away without problems.”

Somehow Sebastian is hypothesizing that the safety car was the evil plan of the Spanish marshals, and by the way the FIA as well, for they are the only ones that can deploy the SC, and that these powers were working against Mr. Vettel and Red Bull. And that they somehow all knew that by making the RB7 go slower it would cause a breakdown. By the way, don’t take into account that nothing befell Mark Webber in the sister car. And we won’t even get into what motivation the FIA would have to thwart Red Bull, which isn’t exactly ruining the competition this year.

As if that is not enough for one to scratch their head, the Red Bull consultant Marko Helmut, the man charged to really run the show, remarkably backed up this theory. Why? Because of course it just makes so much sense (Fernando, Spain, Fernando leading the championship, Spain must be cheaters, etc. everyone including the FIA is against us. Don’t forget they took away our blown diffuser just because we killed the competition last year.) Whatever freako, I mean Marko.

Here’s Mr. Helmut’s professional and scientific opinion: “Vettel was too far ahead and so the field was brought back together,” the Austrian is quoted as saying on German television, “just as they do in American racing”. I think he is referring to NASCAR but I am not sure. At any rate, by this same weird logic the Spanish marshals and the FIA also had an evil plan against Roman Grosjean as well because a handful of laps later he suffered what seemed the exact same fate in his Renault powered Lotus. Oh, but again, not Kimi in the identical car.

Question to the universe (that is really a euphemism for, question to Vettel and Marko): Do you think that the engine all by it’s little ol’ self could be the culprit, without any help from an outside source? Is it just possible that something mechanical failed and, since F1 cars operate so close to the edge, caused then a greater failure resulting in Vettel’s car coming to a stop? Maybe? Maybe even a little more than likely?

As it turns out it was indeed a component on the engine. An alternator, one of the less expensive parts on an F1 car and one that probably has never failed prior to the Valencia GP. Things go wrong on F1 cars, even in this incredible day and age of near-bulletproof reliability. And as if to disprove a conspiracy, the same alternator failed on Roman Grosjean’s Lotus, causing his retirement in the very same race.

So I say to Vettel and Marko: This one got away, you should have won, all things being equal, but you didn’t, bad luck. Ditch the sourpuss faces, the bad attitude and the goofy conspiracy theories, and go back to what has won you both championships for the last two years. No one likes a complainer and excuses have never really worked at the highest levels of sport.   Bitches…

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